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Joke of the Day

"I saw a Chinese baby and a black kid wave at each other this morning. Gives me hope for the future. Or at least another Rush Hour movie"

"David Bowie = Died at 69 Alan Rickman = Died at 69 Donald Trump = is 69 I think we all understand where this is heading"

"My house is really small until I can't find my phone."

"genie: ""thats definitely your last wish?"" me: [smiles at my wife in wheelchair] ""yes"" genie: ""ok"" our dog: ""how can i talk all of a sudden?"""

"I knew a guy obsessed with baking pastries. He was a real dough-nut."

"How did Hitler sneeze? ""A jew!"""

"I was just looking in the mirror this morning, thinking about who I was. I suppose you could say I was reflecting."

"I don't go back to my hometown very often because I've burned too many bridges. And also because I am wanted for bridge arson."

"This joke isn't funny. What do you say when the punchline's told first?"

"A Roman walks in to a bar... He holds up two fingers and says ""Five beers, please."""