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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the girl cross the street? She didn't have the balls"

"Relieved to finally get a new microchipped debit card that provides added security to protect the $13.68 in my checking account."

"[Border control] Officer: ""You're not American."" Me: ""Deep."" *Officer squints* M: ""Fried."" *squints harder* M: ""Guns."" ""Welcome back, Sir."""

"Two mods walk into a bar... [deleted]"

"If your PMSing wife hands you lemons, you damn well better make lemonade or else she'll stab you & squeeze lemon juice into the open wound."

"At first I didn't like my new haircut But it's starting to grow on me"

"When I first started playing chess, I thought the castle could move diagonally. Classic rook-y mistake."

"Hey dad I'm tired! There's a nap for that. :)"

"She said she wanted to see other people So I bought a disguise"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face."