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Joke of the Day

"If your PMSing wife hands you lemons, you damn well better make lemonade or else she'll stab you & squeeze lemon juice into the open wound."

"What did the math teacher tree say to the music teacher tree? Nice log rhythms"

"What's the difference between a Catholic Priest... ... and an e-cigarette-puffing GI Joe Action Figure collector? Well, one is a toy-loving vapist..."

"Who were the Tallest Man in the World's roll models? Nobody, he had no one to look up to."

"Always trust your dog's first impression of someone."

"What's the difference between inlaws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted!"

"my dad didn't let me date untill i was pregnant..."

"Doctors seem to have cornered the market on so-called ""medical advice."""

"My black girlfriend told me this on our first date. What do you call 200 black people in a barn? Antique farm equipment."

"A horse walks into a pub and the bartender says, ""hey we've got a drink named after you"". The horse responded, ""what, Eric, really""?"