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Joke of the Day

"I want to hire someone to wake me up each morning by bursting into my room and yelling, ""Get dressed and grab your gun -- they found him."""

"Did you hear about the classical pianist who was not a good speller? When she went out to buy something she left a sign on her door that said: ""Out Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet"""

"What do you call a gay person on rollerskates rolaids"

"Want to hear a joke about Alzheimer's?"

"What does a pig put on his cut? Oinkment"

"I would make a sexist joke But that would be wrong, and being wrong is for women."

"[OC] What's Elton John's favorite kind of conditioner? Levon."

"I like for my resolutions to be attainable so this year I resolve that I will neither become the pope nor will I become a cannibal."

"Why did Adele cross the road? So she could say hello from the other side (If this has already been posted I might cry I thought I made this all up on my own haha)"

"I'm so embarrassed. I just learned that that Pringles holder on my treadmill is for water bottles!"