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Joke of the Day

"Why did Adele cross the road? So she could say hello from the other side (If this has already been posted I might cry I thought I made this all up on my own haha)"

"A dog says to the other, ""Woof!"" The other replies, ""Moo!"" The first dog is perplexed. He says, ""Moo? Why did you say, Moo?'"" The other dog answers, ""I'm trying to learn a foreign language."""

"What is Donald Trump's idea of an ""employee discount""? Waived fees at a slave auction."

"I hope the people that monitor my sleep study tonight like watching a man scratch his taint."

"What is tuba plus tuba? Fourba!"

"A Baby Whale asks his father where he came from... His father says, ""My penis, son."" ""Oh, thanks Dad"" ""You're Whalecum"""

"I want to die like my grandfather . ..peaceful . . . ready to go. Not kicking and screaming like the passengers in his car"

"What's the difference between matter and a hormone? You can't make matter."

"I think the 2016 Cubs would beat the 1908 Cubs. First, the 1908 Cubs are all dead. Second, the 2016 Cubs are all alive."

"My satellite navigation told me to turn around. Now I can't see where I'm driving."