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Joke of the Day

"I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West... ...could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone."

"What do you call a Mexican that lives in Maine An L.L.Beaner"

"Is this your 1st video conference call? *Takes HUGE bong rip* *Holding it in* umm no So you're aware we can see you? *Cough* what *cough*"

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool. All credit goes to the apples and apples folks."

"""911, what's your emergency?"" ""My kids are being jerks."" ""Hey, Christian, you can't keep calling here."" ""Are you gonna send help?"" ""..."""

"Some people say don't bring a knife to a gun fight but I say DONT GO TO THE GUNFIGHT AT ALL ARE YOU KIDDING ME BULLETS HURT SO BAD OMG"

"How to piss off an archeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him to determine the period."

"Girls who are easy on the eyes are usually hard on the balls and wallet."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Frozen Barbie on a Stick ...in your grocer's frozen food section"

"How did the turtle call his friends? ...on his shellphone"