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Joke of the Day

"The blond girl and the car What did the blond girl say when she saw the car? Answer: That's the lost one right there."

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Blurgblurgblurg"

"How do you kill a circus clown ? Go for the juggler"

"I know the voices in my head aren't real but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!"

"Me: !!Ugh!! YOUR DAMN DOG IS STARING AT ME AGAIN! Him: Just ignore him. Me: I'm trying! Him: I was talking to the dog..."

"I held a convention for solipsists. Nobody else showed up. So I sent everyone home."

"Boss: Can you look this up? Me: (munching on donut) Internet's closed. Boss: Oh. Me: Yeah, I think they're vacuuming it or something."

"What did ataturk's Father Say to him when he did well? Adda-Turk"

"How do you make a cat go 'woof'? Douse it in gasoline and set it alight."

"How do you measure a milf? themommeter"