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Joke of the Day

"Relationship advice: Find someone who likes (or dislikes) the same amount of air-conditioning as you, and stick with them."

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"Aims at the heels, but hits the nose. What is it? A fart."
"What's infinite times better than the Super Bowl? The Hyperbole"
"GF: Sue at the bra shop said u got some lingerie ME: ... G: Only u didn't give it to me M: [nervously adjusting thong] I'm having an affair"
"Don't die a virgin. Seriously, there are terrorists waiting for you."
"""I really should buckle down and get my rap album going"" -Me, every time I drink"
"I like to wear Grocery store uniforms and tell homeless people that I'm there to repo the shopping cart."
"How do you piss of female archaeologists? Hand them a used tampon and ask what period it's from."
"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? Halfway."
"Working on a new type of martial arts that involves taking money from Hispanics.. called TakeJuan'sDough."