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Joke of the Day
"What's black and doesn't work? Decaffeinated coffee"
Next Joke
"April showers bring May flowers... ...but Mayflowers bring smallpox."
"I asked an extremely fit girl if I could see her snatch... So she loaded up the bar and asked, ""How many?"""
"(bed bath and beyond) *walks to beds* Wow nice beds *walks to baths* Wow nice baths *walks through intergalactic wormhole* Wow nice beyond"
"*meets girl for coffee* *sets down blueprints for bank* ""What's this?"" Your dating profile said you were looking for a partner in crime"
"Your house is too dirty if you see bugs with little suitcases leaving it."
"[date at rooftop bar] give me ur hand ""Is tha-are u wearing a squirrel tail?"" *rips off jacket to reveal flying squirrel suit* do u trust me"
"What makes the scarecrow so good at his job? He's outstanding in his field"
"*stands over dads casket* ""Mom isn't doing well, dad."" *puts hand on dad's shoulder* ""You need to stop building caskets. It's creepy."""
"(NSFW) Know how I know you're gay? Your dick tastes like shit"