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Joke of the Day

"Starting to think my wife might have a tumor. She's had a headache for the past 15 years."

"How to equally divide a cake among five people with only three cuts Slice three people with your knife and ask the last, ""Do you also want a piece?"""

"America's flag should be a picture of a deep-fried smartphone with bullet holes in it"

"Do you want to 68? You go down on me and I'll owe you one."

"As a Harry Potter fan, I dream of going to Hogwarts. My friend is a Narnia fan, and he's always wanted to go to Narnia. My other friend is a Hunger Games fan, but he's good."

"I like my women like I like my microwave Hot, clean, and she'll kill any baby I put inside her."

"How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None; they all stand around complementing it then get mad when it wont screw. Heard from my friend"

"Did you hear the director planned to film two sequels simultaneously for the Michael J Fox 1980's time travel comedy? He planned to make back-to-back back to the 'Back to the Future' future features!"

"what is the SEXIEST kind of tree??????? A COUNTRY!!!!"

"What sport do Japanese people watch? Desuball"