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Joke of the Day
"Women are like pianos... if they're not upright, they're grand."
Next Joke
"How can you kill an idiot with half a dollar? Throw it under a bus."
"What kind of Dog does Homer Simpson have? A DOH-berman!"
"Dictators make great rulers... if you make a bunch of one centimeter marks on them while they're asleep."
"What do you call a man with a small penis? Justin"
"Cars should have a thing where if you drive around with your blinker on for too long, they explode."
"Q: What's a tongue twister? A: When your tang gets all tongueled up."
"[in hospital] -dude what happened? ""I got hit by a bu- [a bus taps on the window, does neck slice motion] -I mean I fell down the stairs"""
"How many Freuds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb and another to hold the penis. ... ... ... Er... I mean... The ladder."
"[rose from the movie titanic a couple years later sitting on crowded bus] excuse me, can you slide over so I ca- ""NO, there's no room"""