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Joke of the Day
"Why can't you hear rabbits have sex? because they have cotton balls."
Next Joke
"If a man thinks blondes have the best butts... ...and the verifies this by only watching blondes walk around, is he guilty of Confirmation By-Ass?"
"I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet."
"Is there a hand sanitizer out there that can kill the 0.01% germ?"
"How many ""friend zoned"" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw. Edit: a word"
"Is that a Nexus 6 or are you just happy to see me?"
"If goldfish crackers actually tasted like goldfish-- wait, I just realized I've never tasted a goldfish. What if the crackers are accurate?"
"If a glow worm were to have its tail cut off ... ... would it be de-lighted?"
"""Sorry I didn't reply to your email Terry, a wolf ripped my hands off... Oh these? Um, I got new hands? Gotta go!"""
"My cell phone is so nervous whenever I go to the countryside... ...it's constantly on EDGE."