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Joke of the Day

"""Sorry I didn't reply to your email Terry, a wolf ripped my hands off... Oh these? Um, I got new hands? Gotta go!"""

"So I ran into a guy named Juan Williams yesterday... Isn't he the guy who wrote the music for Star Juars?"

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. ~ Will Shriner"

"I handle stress the way cats bathe in water."

"What happened when the schoool bully went netsurfing? The goalkeeper kicked him out of the football ground."

"Why is it OK to wash an American flag in hot water? Because these colors don't run."

"My dance moves are best described as a woman trying to put on pants 4 sizes too small, with a wasp flying around her head."

"A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff.. Bahh, dum, hiss"

"Shia LaBeouf should never teach sex education He'd tell the kids to just do it."

"Why was the Turkey v Germany match called off? There were too many fowls."