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Joke of the Day

"If goldfish crackers actually tasted like goldfish-- wait, I just realized I've never tasted a goldfish. What if the crackers are accurate?"

"Three drums and a cymbal rolled down a hill ba dum dum ching"

"How can you tell if a Finnish guy likes you? He's staring at your shoes instead of his own."

"Why do scientists love watching dog shows? They appreciate good lab skills"

"If you touch your computer in all the right places... You can turn it on"

"I want a hair cut please. Certainly which one !"

"My boyfriend and I got couples tattoos today!!!! PLEASE do not tell my husband"

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Chaz ! Chaz who ? Chaz nasty as you wanna be !"

"What's the Turkish version of court packing? Turkey stuffing"

"[1hr before date] Me: (to waiter) So when I order the extra spicy chicken you say 'brave choice sir' and then bring the Lemon Herb chicken"