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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between men and women when watching video? The phrase ""I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film."" usually has a completely different meaning."

"Do you know how to tell if a date rapist put a roofie in your drink? Wanna beer?"

"Congratulations, Mr. Trump You'll be the first president to declare bankruptcy on the country."

"Music is like people, the black notes are the fastest"

"Q: Why don't women have men's brains? A: Because they don't have penises to put them in."

"When you add the same thing to both sides of an equation, it remains true. Therefore, since 'pro' is the opposite of 'con', then 'progress' is the opposite of 'Congress'."

"How that we are engaged I hope you'll give me a ring. Of course. What's your phone number ?"

"What's the best way to get a foreign dog to behave? A treaty."

"The three unwritten rules for success and hapiness 1. 2. 3."

"How many vegetables should you pull out of the ground in one day? None"