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Joke of the Day

"Why were there only 1,000 Mexicans at the Alamo? they only had 2 trucks"

"Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat."

"I was gonna make a gay joke... Butt fuck it..."

"[train station] Man: hey you. Woman: Hi. M: i'm Christian. W: That's a pickup line? *rolls eyes, walks away M: ugh. i hate my name."

"If you have a horse and you didn't name it Edgar Allan Pony, we can't be friends."

"Technically, all vehicles are time machines."

"What do you call a gay Mexican..... A senoreater"

"What do crocs and getting a blowjob from a man have in common? They both feel great until you look down and realise you are gay."

"Relationship status: the doorbell rings, my heart is pounding, it's the pizza delivery guy. Three-cheese, double toppings, thick crust."

"I agree with Trump and Clinton, Neither one is qualified to be president."