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Joke of the Day

"Do you want me to write good jokes? Good jokes"

"I like my car how I like my life. Duty free."

"*boss trying to relate to younger employees* ""Excited for the weekend? I know I'll be *looks down at Wikipedia print-out* Yoloing for sure!"""

"What is the monkey that can't peel the banana? Terrible at CC"

"He told me he was my daddy during sex. Then he acted all weirded out when I started crying and asked him to pay off my student loans."

"What do the Japanese do when they have an erection? They vote."

"Pain Pills? You mean bitch mints? **^^flexes**"

"Q: Which game did the cat want to play with the mouse? - A: Catch."

"A man dedicated his life to tying bits of string together. Unfortunately, it was all for knot."

"On this occasion of Chinese New Year I would like to ask all my Chinese friends. Of all the utensils that were invented to eat rice with... How the f**k did two sticks win?"