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Joke of the Day
"I invented a new word today! Plagiarism."
Next Joke
"Throwing acid is wrong.... in some people's eyes."
"Drugs have taken me to some really dark places in my life... Seriously, like really poorly lit crack houses"
"And I really love chocolate... I'm like a chocoholic, but for booze."
"Masking tape never makes a very realistic mask."
"Someone asked me if I'm ever scared that I'll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my cat was right there."
"I didn't sleep at all last night I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went... and then it dawned on me."
"Where do you find a quadriplegic? Where you last left him."
"30 seconds staring confused at the calculator app before realizing why my phone wasn't calling the number I dialed."
"So I was at a sushi restaurant last night. I saw they had this Orgasm roll. I tried it, but I couldn't finish."