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Joke of the Day
"And I really love chocolate... I'm like a chocoholic, but for booze."
Next Joke
"How to get a date with a Clinton supporter today... Baby, want a tissue?"
"I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?"
"Why didn't Hitler participate in the marathon? ... Because he can't finish a race."
"If Jehovah's witnesses brought pizza and beer with them, I'd gladly let them in to spend an afternoon chatting about religion."
"I tucked my kids in last night and said, ""See you in the morning!"" and then we laughed and laughed. Saw them 16 more times before sunrise."
"I tried to kill myself once with Aspirin, but after the first two I felt better."
"What was the name of King Arthur's fattest knight? Sir Cumference. (He ate too much pi)"
"Two atoms are walking down the street.... Two atoms walking down the street. One says, ""Damn, Ive lost an electron"". ""Are you sure?"" ""Yep, I'm positive""."
"You can say what you like about pedophiles at least they drive slowly past schools and playgrounds"