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Joke of the Day

"What does Jimmy Buffett's chicken say? It's 5 o'cluck somewhere."

"Past, present and future walk into a bar... It was tense"

"Why did the stoplight turn red? You would too, if you had to change in front of all those people."

"Why was NASA so interested on travelling to Mars? Because it had their Curiosity."

"What did the Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything. - Danny DeVito from Inside the Actor's Studio"

"""I'M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!"" Brain: LOL Empty bottles: LOL Wine shop owner: LOL New bottle: LOL Bottle opener: LOL Liver: LOL Me: LOL"

"What do you call a teacher who doesn't fart in public? A private tooter!"

"Canadian light beers are like having sex on the beach. It's fucking close to water."

"I just ate raw chicken fingers And then I threw up gang signs."

"I'm not that smart... and have no clue as to what any word means when it has more then two syllables. How will I ever shave?"