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Joke of the Day

"To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great subway sandwiches."

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"How many people in Brazil shave? A Brazilian."
"Why don't hydrocarbons make good criminals? They're always getting com-busted."
"Why were Star Wars Episodes 4, 5, and 6 released before 1, 2, and 3? Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was."
"4k tvs? no thanks i only need one"
"Did you know that all milk has to be sterilized before use? Prepasteurous!"
"The only thing I can fix in this world tonight is another drink."
"what's the longest word in the dictionary? Smiles, because there is a mile between each s."
"What's pun plus pun? Poo"
"When you're checking for murderers in your house, don't just yell out ""hello!"" that gives them the upper hand. Yell, ""YOU AINT SHIT!"""