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Joke of the Day

"Guys, when a woman is mad just tell her she's overreacting. She'll realize you're right and calm right down."

"Did you hear about the baker that died fighting to save his business? They say he went out ""buns-a-glazing"""

"""What's that?"" A divorce jar. Every time we fight you put a dollar in and I'm a little bit closer to freedom. *puts in dollar* ""WTH!?!"""

"What's it called when a fedora wearing neckbeard gets sick? M'alady"

"Why shouldn't you get asylum in Russia? Cuz you'd be snowed-in"

"Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn't realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It's causing quite a stir..."

"Does any one know a program that converts mp3's into Nutella?"

"Why Did Princess Diana Cross The Street? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt"

"I wonder how Beaker from the Muppets came to work at Dr. Bunsen Honeydew's laboratory. Is he just there as a college intern, or is he a graduated beaker?"

"""Great speech! Have you thought about giving it from behind a wooden box for some reason?"" - podium salesman"