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Joke of the Day

"God: make alcohol really fun Angel: haha ok God: but it makes them stupid Angel: i dont know if- God: and if they have too much they die"

"FIRST TIME SEX My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She: ""What are you doing?"" Me: ""I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering."

"What are golfers afraid of? The bogey monster"

"I totally understand how batteries feel... because I'm rarely ever included in things either."

"What's the difference between Ronald Reagan and Donald Trump? Reagan helped tear down a wall."

"Center for Disease Control: overconsumption of beta-carotene linked to dangerous rise in pH of blood In other words, pumpkin spice lattes make you basic."

"Countless marriages could be saved by requiring urinals in private residences."

"My ex got me arrested cause I used to sit outside her house all day. She thought I was stalking her but i wasn't, i just had her WiFi code."

"Why did the smart phone eat a lot? It had a big APPetite"

"Boss: You wrote one of your strengths is invisibility and that seems--what are you doing?! Me (giving him the finger): Wait--you can see me?"