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Joke of the Day

"My roommate says that I'm hard to live with... Where does the arrogant bastard get off saying things like that, He muttered it under his breath in the shower... Son of a bitch."

"What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? The Pilot.... you racist fucks"

"Marriage Counseling Therapist: So you're considering ending the marriage? Wife: I am sick of all the Star Wars puns. Husband: Divorce is strong with this one."

"*puts on sports bra* Well, that's enough exercise for today..."

"Americans eat Turkeys at Christmas. Do people in Turkey eat Americans?"

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth.... and vagina? Only SOME of the things that come out of her vagina are retarded!"

"i've always struggled spelling out ""blood"" with my fingers because it always comes out looking like ""bbool"""

"Hear the one about the deaf man who went fishing? Neither did he."

"A man walks up to a girl smoking in a bar. He ask if she knows of sudden infant death syndrome. She replies 'wut'... He says 'cause smoking kills, baby'"

"Everyone keeps telling me... Everyone keeps telling me ""There are plenty of fish in the sea"" and I keep telling them ""NO way in hell, I am gonna fuck a fish"""