210112

Joke of the Day

"Commas are the coolest punctuation, because they're like ""Yeah, you haven't got time to stop, but you can chill for a little bit."""

"knock knock who's there? To To who? AH AH AH, to whom"

"Why did the veggie band sound horrible live? Because they were missing a beet."

"I'm pretty sure our nanny's grandmother has died like seven times now......"

"HR: Do you know why we called you in here today? Me: I'm not taking off my Batman suit, sir."

"Do you know what's the best thing about necrophilia? You don't have to bring flowers... Usually they're already there."

"Most Fascinating Part of the Body I used to think the brain was the most fascinating part of the body but then i realized ""pssssh, look what's telling me that"""

"Did you know Hitler was blinded in WW1? That's when he became a not-see"

"So a Mormon walks into a bar.."

"Winds of 108mph, structural damage, flying debris, massive depression, icy blasts, communication difficulties, untold misery and suffering... Yes, I forgot our anniversary again."