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Joke of the Day

"""Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor""- John joyfully sings as he walks off with the 'Caution: wet floor' sign"

"At Toys R Us: TRU: Yessir? Me: I want a light saber. TRU: We have basic to advanced, how old is your grandson? Me: 40ish"

"Pick Up Chinese Girl I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629"

"A guy goes to the zoo but there is only one animal... It's a shih tzu."

"Jewish kid A Jewish kid walks up to his dad and asks, ""Dad can I have 15 dollars?"" And his dad says, ""TEN DOLLARS! What do you need five dollars for?"""

"What do the official USGA rules state when... you and your opponent are looking for his ball, and he claims to have found it, but you know he is lying because you have it in your pocket?"

"Rules are like a penis You can bend it as much as you want, but if you break it, you're fucked."

"I do not have an OCD over tidiness. I just wanted to clear that up."

"Why should you never bully a dyslexic dwarf? Because it's not big and it's not clever!"

"Not to interrupt your story, but do you have a completely different and possibly shorter story?"