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Joke of the Day
"Watch out for children on the road. They're terrible drivers."
Next Joke
"My dancing style can best be described as ""Guy On Maury Who Just Found Out He Isn't The Father."""
"[On The Cross] Jesus:""Father, forgive them, fore they know no-"" Voice from the crowd:""DO THE WINE TRICK"""
"PETER PIPER: honey i picked another peck of pickled peppers WIFE: [motioning to pantry already full of peppers] peter literally what the fu"
"How are gay men like tumbleweed? They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence post in Wyoming."
"What do you do if you see a blue banana? Try to cheer it up."
"Don't shop when hungry. Don't date when horny. Don't update your status when drunk"
"Known as the ""one-day insect"" the Mayfly has the shortest lifespan of all organisms... But it still lives longer than my headphones."
"In America, you're the bomb is a complement. In Iraq, you're the bomb is the argument."
"I asked a gym instructor to teach me how to do the splits ... He said, ''How flexible are you''? I said, ''I can't make Tuesdays''."