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Joke of the Day

"I went shopping . . . I went to the supermarket to get some groceries. When I got to the dairy section, they only had one piece of cheese left. It was provolone."

"What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names."

"Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye? A: Just between you and me, something smells down there."

"What happens when two dogs breed in a pound? Dog pound dog pounds dog pound dog."

"How do you stop a small dog from humping your leg? You pick it up and suck its dick!"

"Why was the virgins' wedding during the middle of the week? Because Wednesday is hump day."

"How does moses make coffee? Hebrews it"

"Mean people tell me ""you've got a face only a mother could love"" but the joke's on them because she didn't"

"You haven't experienced awkward until you try to tickle someone who isn't ticklish."

"Why did Beethoven hate Mozart? Because Mozart stabbed him in the Bach."