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Joke of the Day

"How did the burglar get into the house? Intruder window"

"[sees old friend after 4 years] ""God, you were so fat back in school."" ""Yeah, well I lost a lot of it last year."" ""No you didn't."""

"That's the last time I buy underwear at a yard sale. I don't want to talk about it."

"You can tell Monopoly is an old game; Rich people can go to jail."

"What's the world's scariest plant? bamBOO!"

"Someone told me there's a gay guy in my circle of friends... I hope it's Michael. Hes cute."

"If you told me in 1995 that you had to use an mp3 player to copy programs to a telephone in the future, I'd assume you had brain damage"

"*Crosses fingers* *Fingers plan their revenge*"

"40 Theoretical physicists walk into a bar Or did they?"

"Why don't boobies make apple juice? BECAUSE GIRLS ONLY HAVE A ""PEAR"" AHAHEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE"