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Joke of the Day

"Never accept a rap battle from a cricket unless you know more than five words that rhyme with chirp."

"Canada. Because I love being cold 95% of my life."

"What did Abe Lincoln say after a three day drinking binge? ""Wait... I freed ***WHO***?!?!?"""

"I think the first person to see a pug was like wait why is that sweet potato snorting?"

"I wish there was a way to tell if this guy is being nice to me because he likes me or if it's just because he's Canadian."

"Raise your right hand if you were home schooled. No, your other right hand."

"What's the difference between a 6 month old and a 20 year old? About 6 garbage bags and 30 gallons of formaldehyde."

"Today, I played God. I saw a bug, suffering. I watched it for a couple of minutes. Then I kept watching, and watching, and watching..."

"A joke for the British. Some urine got into my eye whilst cleaning the lavatories at a kid's nursery yesterday.... ....I'm putting in a claim for Pee Pee Eye."

"Confucius says - He who goes to bed with itchy butt Wake up with stinky fingers. Just remembered this from when I was 13"