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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bean that's good at silent acting? A pintomime."

"26.8 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot."

"What do moldy corn flakes and Charles Manson have in common? They're both cereal killers!"

"Me: My flight was canceled so I won't be home until tomorrow. Her: but you said you were just going out for milk."

"What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman? Wait, I can explain everything!"

"I bumped into my rival jousting opponent. We exchanged lances."

"Hey baby, Heaven must be missing an angle because you're kindacute."

"I was feeling down. My girlfriend told me to go somewhere that I haven't been in a while that would cheer me up. (NSFW) So I stuck it in her ass. I feel much better"

"Two gay men go into a bar. One says to the other, ""Can I push in your stool?"" Not sure if its a repost. My coworker just told me this."