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Joke of the Day

"[Rumpelstiltskin comes to take first born son] ""Give me what you promised unless you can guess my name"" Here ""Aren't you going to guess?"""

"Watching Dora with the kids this morning. I wish her parents would just get her an iPhone."

"How many Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Don't know, the pope hasn't said yet. How many Lutherans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, Lutherans don't change."

"How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist? A sumo wrestler shaves his legs."

"Knock knock... Who's there? Cow. Cow who? COWWHOBUNGA DUDE ._."

"Me: Can I dip my breadstick in your Alfredo sauce? Him: Usually it's me asking you that. 13YO: SHUT UP. STOP IT RIGHT NOW!"

"Q: Where is the world's fastest chicken from? A: Ethiopia!"

"What do you call a Mexican with a fake toe Roberto"

"I once ate an exclamation mark... it was surprisingly good."

"Some people pride themselves on their hard work. I pride myself on doing so little and yet keeping my job."