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Joke of the Day

"What are a boyfriend's two most dreaded words? Missed."

"A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last one man could stand it no longer. ""Hey kid"" he shouted. ""Why don't you go outside and play?"""

"When does a van become a can? when it travels at the speed of light, i.e v=c.."

"What's the difference between a bull and a Samsung Note 7? I'm not scared when the bull charges"

"What do you call a gay Jew? A he-blew."

"Where do bad pigs go? They get sent to the pen."

"Old ladies are not as fucking helpful as they think they are."

"To all the philosophy majors out there... Can I get a Grande Mocha with whip please?"

"I just had a baby! It was delicious."

"Q:How do you tell the time in Antarctica? A:I don't know,Alaska guy and tell you"