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Joke of the Day

"Why is America home to the majority of comedians? Lax pun control laws."

"Job interviewer: ""Why do you want to join the Secret Service?"" Me: ""It's a secret."" Job interviewer: ""You got the job."""

"if you come into a restroom & announce that you've ""had to piss for two hours"" I'd better hear a strong, frothy stream for at least a minute"

"What's the fastest way to piss off a Starwars fanboy?"

"They say love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit"

"Why does the letter ""r"" make all the difference between Friday and Sunday? payday vs prayday."

"Josh tells his friend Steve, 'did you know 2 out of every 3 people live next to a paedophile?' Steve replies 'not me, I live next to two smoking hot 10 years olds'"

"Did you hear of the guy who stayed up all night to see where the sun went? He just could not explain it! Then it dawned on him."

"Before I had my son, I used to hate kids. Now I just hate yours."

"How do you capture a polar bear? 1. Dig a hole in the ice. 2. Place a bunch of peas around the hole 3. When the bear comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole."