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Joke of the Day
"What a few black wolves and a classic musician have in common? The two are Wolfgang."
Next Joke
"Me: Would you consider going out with a guy a little older than yourself? Her: Well of course I would. Why, do you have a son?"
"Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work! h/t to Big Mike, Tha Gangsta of Luv."
"When I tell people I don't speak English to get out of a conversation I randomly throw the word hemorrhoid just to bring it home"
"The women at the club tonight are so unapproachable. Getting discouraged. Good thing mom is here to tell everyone what a super guy I am."
"Why did the farmer's wife got angry at him for paying too much attention to his equipment? He kept looking at his hoes."
"Fun facts about Germany No fun in Germany, go back to work!"
"Why should you work for a vegetable factory? Because they offer a good celery."
"This BMI chart is telling me I'm too short. What should I do? Should I eat more?"
"[Enters baby room late at night] *flicks switch* [baby's got a raccoon in a headlock] ""What the-"" DAD CLOSE THE DOOR THIS PUNK OWES ME MONEY"