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Joke of the Day

"Got home late to a note that said ""Wake me up for sex"", which I stared at for 10 mins before realizing it was my own handwriting."

"My girlfriend had a sexual fantasy to roleplay as a 14 year old in bed. I think it's pretty gross. Besides, she'll be 14 in 2 years anyway."

"I knew my girlfriend was cheating on me when she texted me saying ""I'm out for dinner with my friend Emma"" because Emma was lying beside me in bed"

"My grandfather is so racist he only eats white chocolate at Easter."

"Of course I can handle constructive criticism *resents you for the next 50 yrs"

"Hey kids! Make your voice heard this election day by hiding your parents identification! (Not applicable in some states)"

"Did you hear about the woman who gave birth in her 50's? You haven't? Oh, wait...that's right.... that's because they can't. (Menopause) Ha."

"*Paper beats rock* *Paper beats eggs* *Paper beats his girlfriend* *Paper beats his three year old*"

"What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler Usain Bolt can finish a race."

"A black woman had 5 sons name Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone and Tyrone.... How did she tell them apart? She called them by their last names"