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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear that there's a new ""Divorced Barbie""? Yeah - she comes with all of Ken's stuff."

"""Let's sleep in when we can't sleep in, and not sleep in when we can sleep in"" - children"

"What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today? Scratching at the inside of his coffin."

"[black jack] DEALER: 14 ME: hit me D: 16 M: hit me D: 23 M: hit me D: M: D: M: make it look good so my wife believes I was mugged"

"Justin and Selena broke up? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOObody cares."

"Does anyone remember Gotye? Now he's just somebody that we used to know"

"I almost got hit by a car today, but due to a swift maneuver I was able to not get hit. It was a Dodge."

"Great joke I heard at a standup show in Houston this weekend. (Dark humor) Give a man a fish, and he you will feed him for the day. Give a man two prosthetic legs, and he'll shoot his girlfriend."

"I know Mexican judo Judo know if I have a knife. Judo know if I have a gun."

"What happened when Steve Irwin forgot to put on sunscreen? He got hurt from harmful rays"