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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a psychic dwarf who has escaped from prison? Small medium at large."

"I know the real reason the Pope is resigning. He finally realized that they were never going to promote him to God."

"1 in every 5 dolphins is a method actor."

"According to serving sizes tonight, I'm a family of 4."

"And the Lord said unto John; 'Come forth and you shall receive eternal life.' ...But John came fifth and he won a toaster."

"What's the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg..."

"How do you treat a pain in the ass? Take an asprin."

"Goldman Sachs is trimming bonuses. Conan O'Brien's payout is only $32 million. Anyone know where we can text-message our donations?"

"One How many time travellers does it take to change a light bulb?"

"What was Forrest Gump's email password? ""1forrest1"""