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Joke of the Day

"In the movies, anyone can hotwire a car in 10 seconds. In real life, it takes me 20 minutes to find the gas flap release on a rental."

"Describe yourself in three words. Lazy."

"What do you call a skinhead underwater? An oister"

"How can you tell if a fencer is a redditor? By how often he ripostes."

"Yo mama's so fat... ...when she died, she had to be preserved in formalda-wide. She then had to be whipped creamated. If she wasn't, they would have had to given her an open-graveyard funeral."

"Did you know Helen Keller had a swing-set in her back yard? ...neither did she"

"Did anyone see the original joke posted on this sub today? Neither did I."

"My child's first name Is going to be look"

"What does a neckbeard call his imaginary girlfriend and his disease? Ma'lady"

"If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?"