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Joke of the Day

"A guy is about to die Guy: How much time do I have left, doctor? Doctor: 10 Guy: 10 what?! 10 days, 10 months, 10 years? Doctor: 9...8...7...6...5..."

"What's it called when you throw Indian food at someone? Naan-aggression."

"*proposes to girlfriend, accidentally dropping the ring in the ocean* ""I'll still marry you"" No. I'm married to the sea now *dives in*"

"Around here we commonly refer to our intellectual property as 'our shit'."

"Clearly I have no shame but thanks for asking. You must be new here."

"Wanna hear a joke that ends in a cliffhanger? [deleted]"

"Where are all of the creative Calculus jokes? All these new ones are so derivative..."

"I met a girl with 12 nipples... Sounds funny Dozen tit?"

"Sometimes I wish you could ask the pharmacist to ""make it a double""."

"*sniffs date's hair* [later on in ambulance] ""no, it's my fault for not mentioning I'm allergic to japanese cherry blossoms"""