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Joke of the Day
"I met a girl with 12 nipples... Sounds funny Dozen tit?"
Next Joke
"Damn boy, are you my yoga class? Because I want to get hot and sweaty with you in 37 different poses and then not be able to walk tomorrow."
"My wife had me take out more life insurance and now there's no grip left on the bath mat. Weird."
"I haven't heard anything from my doctor since my ear surgery. Or anyone, for that matter."
"My wife wants to have another kid. That's like seeing light at the end of a tunnel and saying, ""I think we better turn around."""
"a seemingly perfect utopia immediatley becoms a dystopia when u find out evryone refers to eachother by watever their first email adress was"
"How is Chinese airport security like a Russian woman? They'll fuck anybody with an American passport. I say this from experience."
"My toothpaste says it guarantees whiteness within two weeks.. Yet after two weeks I'm still asian"
"Shopping with friend ""Look, triangle-shaped tupperware for your leftover pizza!"" Me: ""What's leftover pizza?"
"I'm not desperate because i'm single, i'm single because i'm not desperate."