224995

Joke of the Day

"IF attacked by Clowns ... Go for the Juggler!"

"Me: Sometimes I think I have more imaginary conversations than real ones. Scarlett Johansson: That's very interesting."

"The Lord said unto John; ""Come forth and you shall receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and he won a toaster."

"""You know why I pulled you over?"" ""Does anyone know why anyone's pulled over?"" ""Wow. You're free to go."" ""Is anyone free?"" ""Oh you're good."""

"A penguin, a priest, and a cowboy walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""Is this some kind of joke?!"""

"How did Hitler like his orange juice? Concentrated."

"Why did Hitler REALLY kill himself? He got his gas bill"

"What's a bigger problem, ignorance or apathy? I don't know and i don't care."

"So I had a threesome last night... There were a couple of no-shows but I still had fun"

"Facebook buys Instagram for one billion?!? Idiots!! They could have downloaded it from the app store for .99 cents.."