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Joke of the Day
"Why did the grinch cross the road? HE HAS TOO MUCH LONGER LEG !!!!"
Next Joke
"[At bar] BARTENDER: I dont think she wants to talk man ME: [dabbing on pickle juice as cologne] I think I know what the ladies want pal"
"Yawning Is our body's way of saying 20% of battery remaining"
"Heard about the new low fat comminion wafer? it's called ""I can't believe it's not Jesus"""
"""I'm tired."" - Beat Cop"
"I would never take candy from a stranger, but I'd probably follow a trail of bacon straight into the back of a windowless white van."
"The NHL's ability to punish players."
"My boss is marrying a Chinese woman. Is throwing rice at a Chinese wedding considered lucky or a food fight?"
"You people that are getting sex regularly either need to keep that shit to yourselves or be more descriptive."
"Santa is near .... ... I can sense his presents."