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Joke of the Day

"Mentally fistfighting everyone I pass on sidewalk (watched action movie earlier) my record is 33-10 but to be fair I walked by a school."

"What's an owl's favorite subject? Owlgebra"

"9 out of 10 people said when polled, that they enjoy gang rape."

"how was copper wire invented.... two jews fighting over a penny"

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, they were both stuck-up cunts."

"How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's house? A right a right a right"

"Sometimes when I'm bored I send a text to a random number saying, ""ok they're dead, what do I do with the body?"""

"Why did the carpenter join the army? Because he wanted to be a Drill Sergeant"

"What do you get when eating toast in bed? Un-crumb-fortable"

"My daughter hit me with this one while preparing for dinner Why did the table love playing volleyball? Because it was always getting set! I think she gets it from her mother."