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Joke of the Day

"What does it mean when you're on a date and he pushes you in front of a bus?"

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field."

"I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs...But I totally trust a dog when it doesn't like a person."

"Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? They keep stealing the green cards."

"Robin Williams tried to give me a high-five the other day but I just left him hanging"

"Today a three-year-old child who I've never met before told me to shut up, and I wasn't even talking."

"I hate being used as a thesaurus. A mate just asked another term for ""monkey dung"" and I went apeshit."

"When someone yells ""STOP!"" I never know if it's Hammertime or if I should collaborate and listen."

"I hope Jessica Biel names her first child Batmo."

"A group of musicians walk into an Italian restaurant. The host says ""I am a sorry. We a cannot a serve you. You are a band."""