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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a caffeinated beverage that lasts forever? Infini-tea."

"Michael Phelps is such a good swimmer... He was conceived anally"

"What do religions and gender have in common? You hear about a new one every day and none of them make any sense."

"Why can't Chinese people eat Swans? They don't have a Pitchfork. (This is a music reference joke)"

"I really like non-sequiters But I prefer irony."

"Imagine a hunter in a deer stand but instead of a gun he has a long stick he pokes the deer with and they look around like ""ok who did that"""

"The gardener asked me what I wanted him to do, I told him to water the plants... He points and asks ""water these?"", I said ""nah man, *pointing* WATER THOSE""."

"If you add a long hashtag to a tweet or Instagram pic, capitalize the first letter of each word. No one wants to work that hard at reading."

"Remember when vampires didn't sparkle, and you killed them rather than french kissed them."

"The creator of the Hokey Kokey died last week... The funeral was a nightmare... when putting him in the coffin, they put his left leg in... And that's when the trouble started."