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Joke of the Day

"My professor told me my writing reveals my erudite nature. I explained that my birthstone is actually amethyst."

"""I'm a good person, obviously."" --everyone"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? KANYE WEST - Beyonce should have crossed the road, not the chicken!"

"Relationship Status: My dog was just licking my ear. I didn't stop her."

"Did you hear about the Puerto Rican secretary who was getting so experienced she could type twenty mistakes a minute?"

"What's the difference between us and the dinosaurs? We don't need an asteroid..."

"Why should one not talk about Titanic with a stranger? Because it can't break the ice"

"Make a customer service representative's day by ending your call with: ""Thank you...you're my only friend in this miserable world."""

"First time and with a hooker They are both naked and he says -""this is my first time..."" she says -""relax and tell me what you like..."" -""cheesburguer"""

"What do you call a fish out of water? Asians? Idk it's been a rough day."