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Joke of the Day

"IAN: Just how do fleas jump so high? ME: Your guess is as good as mine I: I reckon they wear tiny tiny Air Jordans M: Ok I take that back"

"Have you heard about the corduroy pillows They were so famous they made headlines."

"If I had a dollar for every racist thing I said I wouldn't need a small loan of a million dollars"

"If the opposite of pro is con... Wouldn't the opposite of progress be the congress?"

"Just saw a guy using a payphone. I can only assume he's being told where to deliver the ransom money."

"Every day, for the last two years, I've been putting something aside for a rainy day... ... But what am I going to do with 500 umbrellas and 200 pairs of wellies?"

"How many people can ride on a bird? Toucan."

"So a crossfitter, an atheist, and a vegan all walk into a bar. How do I know? Because they told everyone in the place within 30 seconds."

"Treat her like she's the only girl on Earth. Nothing makes a woman happier than the thought of every other woman disappearing forever."

"The local news says we can tell there's been a power failure with their new app. Call me old fashioned but the lack of lights tips me off."