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Joke of the Day

"I have an EpiPen A man lying on the roadside gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it."

"Black people always name their kids things they can't afford La'Diamond, La'Mercedes, La'Phonebill"

"How to insult an elder in the museum. Say ""I would shake your hand, but the sign says ""Do not touch the artifacts.""""."

"Hey, teenage girls, don't get pregnant. Unless you want your own TV show."

"What do the Japanese do when they have erections? They vote."

"I'm now on year 3 of the '7 day ab challenge'"

"My walk of shame is when i'm going home from an Adam Sandler movie."

"I still don't understand why people say marriage is so hard when I've successfully completed 2 of them..."

"*Jesus, bursting out of a chest cavity, spraying the room with blood and viscera* ""My God, Johnny? DID YOU LET CHRIST INTO YOUR HEART?!?"""

"What's the definition of ""Tender Love?"" Two gays with hemorrhoids. "