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Joke of the Day

"My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at his face."

Next Joke
 
"What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese."
"What do you call one chickpeas smashing another? Hummuscide... *italics* gentleman bows"
"I respect how the Hamburglar was like, ""Hey, I know I'm at rock bottom here, but I'm going to be professional about it and wear a tie."""
"People are all like ""STAY OUTTA MY LIFE GOVERNMENT"" and then they shut down and people are all like ""COME BACK IN MY LIFE GOVERNMENT"""
"Patient: ""Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."" Doctor: ""I've got some cream for that."""
"What do you call a black person in space? An astronaut."
"Whenever I hear an uninteresting 80 year old woman tell an uninteresting story I think, ""Wow, you must have been really hot."""
"Why are lesbians superstitious? Because they are always knocking on wood."
"The life of a penis is a sad one.... His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him."